Well my Saturday was odd, funny to you I'm sure, but odd to me. I'm going to give you the long version, because it was too wierd for the compact version and too many funny/random parts would be left out. Besides you know I don't do well being concise. So, I went to a house party with the gang at an undergrad Aero's house, saw a guy from work there, and then we all went to Northgate. We met up with a friend Jeff and a bunch of his friends and now 1 of 2 wierd parts: there was this Columbian guy there. I think he was drunk but he really just could have been wierd. (He's not cute in the least, short, and I could probably take him on 1 foot hopping backwards). Anyway, Jeff bought a round of beer and I helped him carry them back, and I gave one to this guy (I think his name was Davide). Well Davide says "the woman of my dreams, bringing me beer", and I kind of laughed because I thought he was joking. So we talked for a minute and then he talks about how he's this cool grad student, a chem major...a phd even, and how some girls have actually swooned when he said this before while some thought he was a nerd. I responded with, "I'm an aero major in the phd program" (Leaving out the part that I won't be for long). Well he was shocked, although I don't know whether it was from the revelation of my extremely impressive major (haha) or the fact that I'm a phd. I don't know if I looked young Sat night or what, but every new person there asked if I was a Soph or a Junior and am I allowed to be drinking....rude!
So anyway he asked me to marry him. He said "A smart pretty girl who brings me beer, there is nothing more in life a man can want", to which I wanted to respond, "Screw what you want, thank you for the compliment, but considering the source....ew!". Anyway I pulled a 'Tuesday' from Popeye and said "ask me next week, I'm not dating this week", which is sort of true. Friday night killed my want for a guy for a while. Stupid Todd. So Davide then laughs and says "now you have to marry me, but I'll wait until next week if I must". So the rest of the night he called me 'wife'. I don't know what happened to 'next week'...I think it was forgotten. I was stuck in that scary conversation with him after this occurence for about 25 minutes while he orated to me about how American women are not romantic enough and he is romantic and that is wasted here in this cultural wasteland of the US and Texas and College Station... Blah blah blah...the guy talks more than me. I finally squeezed away while he was mid-sentance about something and pretended friends (from the other side of the room) asked me a question. He would randomly yell "wife" across the bar anytime he felt like it throughout the night if I was talking to a guy. "Wife", he'd say, "why are you cheating on me?". He used that horrible 'w' word because he couldn't remember my name. Finally (an hour later) he asked if I wanted a divorce. I blurted out "yes" and smiled for the first time all night, thinking he came to his senses and his little world of crazy would be over. The rest of the night he now referred to me as "ex-wife" and anytime I talked to a guy, he'd come over and ask why I didn't love him any more. Oh boy....no joke. He was a crazy one.....and the good news was he followed us back to Jeff's place where I stayed until 4am and was the first to leave. I was "wife" or "exwife" for 5 hours that night.....uuggghhh!
Ok part 2: back at Jeff's I was about to leave when Jose comes up to me. There was this guy Jose: Chubby guy from New Orleanes, very cocky and pretty much all around jerk. I've never really liked him though have tried to give him a chance like 4 different times, because if my friends really like him, there must be something I'm just missing. I don't think so. He walked up to me while I was mid-conversation with this guy (as I was telling the guy goodnight because I was tired and was about to go home) and I don't know what I thought he was going to say, but I never expected this: "So I was just thinking about it, and I've known you for a while, and when we first met, I didn't like you, I want to be honest with you. I don't like you. I was talking to my best friend Jeff about this and just couldn't figure it out. I just didn't like you" What? I was quite literally speechless, on top of the fact that it was 4am, I was really really tired. I only had 1 drink so I wasn't tipsy or anything, but very confused and speechless. So I just kind of stood there and listened. I responded with a simple 'Thank you' and said, "I don't really ever need to know that. It's kind of a mean thing to say" (Understatement of the century) "I don't really care whether or not you like me, but I don't really need for you to tell me". Then he got really mad at me. I became even more confused. He was mad at me?? He tried to pull me aside where we could talk. "I don't want to talk about how you don't like me!" I said in an extremely calm, even voice, considering I should have been outraged and mad. Then he got mad and walked off cursing something in Columbian or Brazaillian or Mexican - I don't know where he's from. Later on (like 5 min later) I went outside and told Jeff, I guess to get his response, and partly because he was in the back so he and the chick with him were literally the only 2 at the party who didn't witness this whole scene with Jose. I wanted my humiliation to be complete, I suppose. Jeff just said, "Oh f***, that man" and continued to look wasted although slightly annoyed at this point. Yes. I am more confused.
The story gets better: Jeff asked me to grab him a cigarette and I obliged going to the front of the house to bum a cigarette of someone for an extremely sick Jeff who lost a bet and was forced to drink an entire bottle of some nasty sugary drink that should have made him sick hours ago. His mood was most foul. Wouldn't you know, the only one who was smoking was Jose, so I walk up to him, pretend like he didn't just come tell me he thought I was a witch with a 'b', and asked for a cigarette for Jeff. He pulled one out, lit it, handed it to me, and said "Hi I'm Jose, what's your name" with a completely straight face. I felt like I was in a world full of crazy people. Like this has to be fake because even for my twisted life where crazy things often happen, this surpassed anything I had ever expected. I told him my name was "Sam, short for Samantha and I was extremely please to make his acquaintance" then he and Gerardo went back to speaking Spanish. Random. So I brought the cigarette back to Jeff and wished I had left when I planned to - right before crazy part 2. Yeah. You know, I don't like him, but at least I have the decency not to tell him, even while he's telling me. "i just want to be honest" - who wants to hear that!??! As I was walking out of the party all I could hear was this random voice yelling "wife, wife, don't leave me wife, you are the woman of my dreams".
Stop laughing, or actually I hope you're laughing. I'm not at the laughing point yet. I'm still too confused. I believe that pretty much everything happens for a reason, like God has a checklist to put you through, but I'm trying really hard to reason through Saturday night. Your thoughts???
Bottom line: Saturday was way too random - read the whole entry. This one's a good one.
